It is a quick writing yet very helpful to start creating my own boundaries. and yes, it is okat to say NO.
This is from @mellow.doodles . you can search and surf her stuff in Instagram. I hope this may help you as well. Here they are.
Boundaries sound like:
- I will end this phone call if you continue to shout at me
- I need time to think about it. I’ll come back to you
- I can stay for half an hour
- I don’t respond to work emails at the weekend
- Thank you for your offer, unfortunately I can’t make it
- I’m not comfortable with that. If you do it again I will have to leave
- I’m not comfortable discussing that. Please do not discuss it with me
- I respect your opinion but this is my life and my decision
Based on my experience, I attempted number 9 and number 5. As you know, being a people pleaser, those boundaries aren’t easy to apply it in reality. Otherwise, we can start to normalise it. Probably it is really hard to do it as we don’t want to hurt people.
Again, based on my experience, meeting new people with different background (countries, races) they’re very open to communicate their boundaries. As an opposite talker, I didn’t get offended due to their honesty. It is such a relief to know more about boundaries and communicate it.
As a final, start to create your own boundaries. Don’t hesitate to tell people your rules as long as it doesn’t harm anybody.
K, bye!
Ikrim
May 28, in the new house .PKU
Dear Ikrim 